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Low Boiling Point

If you’re a Dallas Maverick’s fan, a German National Team fan, or even just a Dirk Nowitzki fan you have probably noticed the guy really never loses control.

When you’re an all-star big man in the NBA you’re going to get fouled, you’re going to get knocked down, hacked, and (if you’re Blake Griffin) thrown karate style. Nowitzki is one of those big men who handles the contact really well, he handles the stress of the game really well, and just seems really inflappable most of the time.

Turns out that all this isn’t a ‘game face’ thing, it’s just Dirk. As you may have heard, Dirk has been having some trouble with a certain bat-shit crazy ex-fiancee’. While it speaks volumes about Nowitzki that he wasn’t out in the media blasting this woman, or releasing angry amateur rap videos about her (I’m talking to you, Shaq…), his first interview on the subject says even more.

Nowitzki spoke to German-based Bild magazine and opened up about the relationship and his feelings. The Dallas Morning News has the translated recap here, and Deadspin pulled a lot of the important stuff (and a pretty killer translation showing how great online language translators are) here.

Despite saying that at first he was “Furious”, the whole interview is just laced with this unbelievable calm. Dirk doesn’t have a bad thing to say about his ex, and even goes on to conclude that he still wants a storybook family life in the future, but that “the wounds have to heal first.”

Dirk Nowitzki after being informed that his house is on fire and his broker stole all his savings. Photo Courtesy of Flickr.com/diebmx (Creative Commons Licensed)

Maybe I’m blowing this out of proportion, but this zen-like calm that Nowitzki shows in every aspect of his life just astounds me. Especially considering that he works for this guy.

Off The Lamp Post, Over The Wall, Nothing But Net…

And this just in from the world of trick shots. Yahoo! Sports Blog ‘Ball Don’t Lie’ has the scoop on middle school student Aaron Shutway knocking down a Ri-freaking-diculous shot. Head on over for the rest of the story, and check out the video below.

 

I can’t even put this into words, and I really hope this kid isn’t pulling a Sosa, but the video sure looks kosher. If it is legit, I hope the kid keeps practicing…Then maybe he can join Taylor Griffin with the Globetrotters someday.

Blake-ing Out

 

James Blake Wonders What Happened..? Photo Courtesy of Flickr.com/mandj98 (Creative Commons Licensed)

The most well recognized, greatest tennis event in existence kicked off this week at Wimbledon. The story most people are focusing on is the fact that the defending champion, Rafael Nadal, is out with knee tendonitis. This means that Roger Federer is under a tremendous amount of pressure to win, since there isn’t really any quality competition for him now (Andy Murray probably has something to say about that).

But something worth focusing on is the continuing collapse of James Blake. Blake has now lost three Grand Slam matches in a row, and has gone out in the first round of the last two Grand Slams (Wimbledon and the French Open). Blake came into this tournament seeded 17th , which makes since given that it’s also his current ATP rank.

Now, this is a guy who has been ranked 4th in the world only 3 years ago. He’s also accustomed to being a top 10 seed at majors prior to this year. On top of that, Blake tends to play better on grass than on clay (4-2 on grass, 6-5 on clay in 2009), making Wimbledon a good tournament for him.

Well, apparently not because Andreas Seppi dropped Blake in straight sets and ended his tournament early. Blake tried to sounds optimistic about his recent woes, saying:

“I still feel like I can play with anyone in the world, but it’s just for some reason lately it has been very inconsistent”

‘Lately’ and ‘Inconsistent’ are both massive understatements, James, sorry. I’ve always liked Blake better than Roddick, and I really hope he gets his game back together. However, the guy turns 30 at the end of this year, and has only made one quarterfinal at a major in the last 3 years.

We’ll see what happens to Blake in the future, as for Wimbledon, Andy Roddick is the only American hope now (So we clearly won’t have a player in the quarters – come on, even Andy Roddick knows Andy Roddick doesn’t stand a chance).

#!!$&8*$$!

Ted Thompson Has A Purple Sad Face...

This is an article about Brett Favre, what the hell else am I supposed to call it? So, after Favre went on Joe Buck Live and finally just came out and said that, health permitting, he would be a Viking next seaon, it seemed like things in the #4 circus were gonna calm down.

Well, ProFootballTalk found a new Favre theory to toss out there. PFT is hinting that there’s a possibility the Vikings have already signed Favre, and are just waiting to make the announcement. This could be either for strategic reasons, at Favre’s behest, or just to try and get our brains to melt and pour out of our ears.

So if this is the case, when are we common folk going to get the official announcement? PFT is suggesting that July 3 will be the magic day. This makes a lot of sense if the idea is to reduce the unavoidable media storm that follows Favre wherever he goes. The July 4 holiday is almost guaranteed to get rid of some reporters, cameras, and spotlights. Of course, the hardcore guys are still going to be there…and someone is always going to show up when a Favre announcement is made.

Whether the Vikes have already signed Favre is really irrelevant, because his arm is looking like it will be in shape for the start of camp anyway. So maybe Favre is already in the bag, maybe he won’t be officially signed until the future, but no matter what we aren’t getting away from hearing about it. If you really can’t handle the stress (here’s looking at you, Ted Thompson) you could always A) go live under a rock for a few months  B) just cut off your ears and be done with it, or C) follow Deadspin’s suggestion.

Common Sense: 0 Vegetables: 1

The College of William and Mary changed the moniker of its athletic teams from the relatively inappropriate ‘Indians’ (But Redskins is just fine…?) to the much more kosher ‘Tribe’ more than 20 years ago. However, it was only 3 years ago that the NCAA decided that while the nickname was ok, the Native American themed mascot and logo needed to go. So, now the search is on for a new mascot. Something fierce, something intimidating….

ITS TERRIFYING!! Photo Courtesy of Flickr.com/calliope (Creative Commons Licensed)

OH MY GOD, IT’S ASPARAGUS, RUN! You starting to see the mistake here, William and Mary? According to the Associated press, the asparagus stalk is one of the choices being considered by the school’s president, who will ultimately make the final decision.

What’s worse than suggesting a vegetable as your mascot? Having a God-awful rationale. Apparently supporters of the asparagus are pointing out that if served with cheese, it would represent the school’s colors (sort of). Apart from tasting really bad, this combo is also going to require a second mascot to work. Imagine the half time show at your school’s basketball game when a giant green veggie stalk goes running across the floor being follow by a wedge of cheddar.

Awesome.

The Beer Is The Only Thing Cold In The Rockies…

So, suddenly the hottest team in baseball is the Colorado Rockies…is anyone else having 2007 flashbacks?  According to Yahoo! Sports, Rockies starters are 13-1 with a 3.16 ERA in the past 15 games. Not bad considering….QUICK name anyone from the team’s starting rotation?!  That’s what I thought.

Now the Rockies’ old reliable, Todd Helton, is sporting a .316 average and is slugging over .500. But as usual, guys you haven’t even heard of are coming through in a pinch. Clint Barnes’ solo homer and heads-up RBI double keyed the Rockies 5-4 win over the Pirates on Sunday. And, with all the playoff spots in the NL still up for grabs, you have to think everyone but Clint Hurdle is getting pretty psyched.

The purple guys’ amazing play clearly has their fans and their fuzzy dinosaur excited, but even Deadspin is catching the Rocky Mountain Fever…

Dinger! Photo Courtesy of Melvin Schlubman. Flickr.com/pauldineen (Creative Commons Licensed)

America Was Just Adding Drama For The Ratings

Ho-ly Shit. So After watching Egypt upset Italy in brilliant fashion, I may have decided that the Egyptian side could not lose the United States on Sunday. Well, not only did the United States beat Egypt, but all the stars completely aligned and America actually made it into the semi-finals.

I didn’t completely outline the exact requirements for the Untied States escaping the group stage, but here it is. The U.S. had to beat Egypt (the same Egypt that beat Italy) but at least 3 goals. Sure, thats hard enough, but Brazil also had to simultaneously beat Italy by at least 3 goals. Well, here are the final scores from Sunday.

United States: 3    Egypt: 0

Brazil: 3     Italy: 0

You HAVE to be kidding me. That means the United States is through to the semis despite losing to Brazil 3-0, and Italy 3-1. The team that’s left behind? Italy. Now I argued earlier that Italy didn’t want to play in the Confederations Cup, and that the lackluster effort against Egypt was their way of showing it. I’m almost tempted to argue that Italy showed the same lack of effort against Brazil, allowing the necessary 3 goal margin so that if the United States did their part, Italy could just go home. Even Captain Fabio Cannavaro basically said the goal wasn’t really to win the cup:

“It upsets us to go out, because we came here to try some new things and give some kids more experience”

Regardless of how Italy played or why, Bob Bradley and the United States deserve to get their due for finally showing up. After being trashed by basically everyone, the U.S. routed a very competent Egyptian side and did what was necessary for them to advance.

My question? Which U.S. team is going to show up in the semis?

I Blame Spike Lee For This

Ok, so if you watched even a second of the NBA playoffs you couldn’t get away from the commercials for Spike Lee’s ‘Kobe Doin’ Work’ documentary. IMDB says that the documentary follows Kobe through a day of the NBA playoffs when the Lakers were playing the Spurs (I dont hate myself enough to actually watch this – Just kidding, mostly).

So, immediately after that I hear about LeBron James’ documentary ‘More Than a Game’ (And yes, I know this was actually made before Spike Lee’s Kobe joint). Now, I haven’t watched James’ movie either, but according to IMDB it’s at least 2 whole stars out of 10 better than Kobe’s.

Well, now Dwight Howard has decided he’s feeling left out (Why, Dwight? At least you were in the finals). The Big Lead has turned me on to a Page 6 story which states Howard is gonna be the next one to hit the big screen. Apparently the movie is called “Switch”  and the basic synopsis is that “a white, unathletic, unpopular high-school freshman . . . swaps basketball skills with Howard.”

Dwight Howard. Photo Courtesy of Keith Allison. Flickr.com/keithallison (Creative Commons Licensed)

How do you burn an hour or two showing an unathletic, unpopular white kid turning it over in the paint and missing free throws? Thats the director’s problem.

Klitschko Overcomes Chagaev’s Biological Weapon Plan

Wladimir Klitschko stopped Ruslan Chagaev before the 10th round in their heavyweight match today in Germany. Why was the match held in Germany, you ask? Well, according to the Associated Press over 61,000 turned out to watch the bout, so that would be reason enough. But the main reason was because Chagaev was diagnosed with Hepatitis B prior to the fight, and Germany has lax enough standards that Chagaev was able to pass a physical there.

Now, German health officials determined that Chagaev’s virus posed ‘beyond minimal’ risk to anyone present. Of course, the American Association of Professional Ringside Physicians officially said that the condition did pose a risk. Now, if basically anyone with any kind of medical degree told me my opponent could possibly infect me with a serious and technically incurable virus I’d probably back out. Klitschko, however, took the fight and promptly destroyed Chagaev.

So why take the fight? Kevin Lole over at Yahoo! Sports posted an excellent article on the current state of world heavyweight boxing. Essentialy, Lole argues that Klitschko had to take the fight because there is absolutely noone in the world in his league, and despite his incredible skill he is likely to miss the hall of fame and fade into obscurity after he retires.

Of course, there is one quality opponent out there…his brother. Although the two have long said they will not fight each other, it turns out there is one person who could make it happen. No, not Don King, their mother.